Sweet Serendipity
by LF7
Summary: Had I known that everyone I would encounter in life would be the devil reincarnated, I would've offed myself a long time ago.  B/E
1. Say what, now?

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><p>December 11, 2011. 2:57 a.m.<p>

"You're an asshole."

"Me? _I'm_ the asshole in this situation?" He asks with a surprised look on his face. He looks tired and scared and a little bit annoyed. That last part is probably, most likely, directed at me.

"Yes," I nod, shifting Avery to my left hip. "You're the asshole."

"That's rich." Edward scoffs and then pulls at his hair. "And, at exactly what part did my asshole-ness become apparent to you? Tell me, please. Was it the part where I _thought_ before I opened my fucking mouth or was it the part where I didn't volunteer us for something that we are both in _no way_ capable of doing?"

"Stop yelling at me!"

"Bella, you would think someone as smart as you would be able to figure this one out but – "

"Edward, STOP yelling at me!"

Then Edward gets all screechy – which he only does when he's frustrated and extremely mad. "Bella do you even understand what the hell is going on right now? Do you even get it? Is it even computing right now?"

I narrowed my eyes at him and pursed my lips to defend myself. "Look, Edward I've got bigger things to worry about than this conversa– "

"No, _you_ look, Bella." He said – to mock me I'm sure. "I don't think you understand what you've just agreed us to?"

I grab the finger that he has pointing in my face and bend it backwards – gently, of course – fed up with all his sass.

"I didn't agree to anything. I didn't sign anything. I didn't write my name in blood and I didn't hand over a fucking pound of flesh. So, calm. The hell. Down."

"_You didn't agree to anything?_ I was right there when you said 'yes'!" Wow, his screeching has reached a new level.

"Well, what was I supposed to do? Huh? Tell me?"

He takes a deep breath and then sighs, running his other hand through his hair. He takes another breath and then says, "Can I have my finger back?"

"Can you calm the hell down?" I snap back.

"Give me my fucking finger, Bella." He says all tiredly, like that's gonna make me have a change of heart or forget all the bullshit he's said in the past thirty minutes.

"No."

He looks at me like I'm crazy. And, maybe I am. Maybe I've finally crossed over that crazy line I've been straddling for all these years, but it doesn't matter. He was going to listen to me and he was going to listen to me now, goddammit!

"No?"

"No." I nod for clarification. "I don't think you deserve it."

He narrows his eyes. "I don't _deserve_ my finger?" He asks sarcastically.

"Not with that attitude."

"Bella," He yells angrily. "I've had a really bad day and I am in absolutely no mood for your sense of humor."

"_Really?_ Just you?" He rolls his eyes in annoyance and turns his head away from me. "No, Edward. Seriously? This only happened to you? _You're_ the only one who's had a bad day?"

He doesn't look back at me and I can feel my eyes beginning to water – for like the eightieth _fucking_ time today.

"I'm just taking her home, Edward." I let go of his finger in defeat and maybe a little bit of annoyance. "I'm just taking her home."

This day probably couldn't get any worse…

Let me just knock on some wood real quick.

.

_One hour ago…_

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Edward and I both screamed at the same time.

The African American lady – who's name I had forgotten - sits there with a serious look on her face and I could tell that she had done this thousands of times. She was strangely stoic – which is weird. Because, this job must put a lot of unnecessary stress on her life, as well as her personal life. But, that's beside the point.

Right now, I'm angry. Focus, Bella, focus.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to swear. What I meant to say was – "

"Are you _fucking_ kidding me?" Edward interrupts me, screaming.

I frown and then tilt my head to the left a little. "Well, yeah. I was probably gonna say that again."

"Is this some kind of sick joke?" Edward's eyes are blazing – probably a reflection of my own if I'm being honest. "'Cause I have had one rough day and this is – this is – this is like _really_ cruel."

"Mr. Cullen, Ms. Swan. I know you must have many questions. I can assure you that I will answer all of them, but right now I just need you two to breathe."

"I'm 26!" I blurt out. "Okay. Twenty. Six. I can't – I'm not – this is just – "

Edward leans forward, folding his arms on the table. "Don't they have any relatives that could – "

"Dead." The lady states.

"But, what about a grandfa-"

"Dead." She looks between the two of us. "Didn't you two understand when you signed up to be the godparents that this would be your responsibility?"

"Psh. Nobody goes by the "godparent" rule anymore! It's just a thing. It's totally moot! Usually the child goes to an uncle or the grandparents or a sister or a cousin or a – "

"Bella," Edward says tiredly with a frustrated tone, effectively shutting up my rant.

And, really? I just want to cry. I mean, I have already. Cried, I mean. But, I just want to do it some more. For hours. Without a break. And, maybe with some chocolate. Milky Way preferably. I wonder if she has any Milky Ways.

I whisper through my hands - that I had placed over my mouth in an effort to muffle my cry. "We can't do this."

"Ms. Swan – "

"No!" I start getting angry, shaking my head back and forth viciously. "We _can't_ do this!"

The lady stares at me patiently – probably tired of us interrupting her all day.

"I don't – I don't know what Alice and Jasper were thinking, but we can't. I can't. I just can't. This is just bad timing. My life's a mess. Like, a giant mess. And, I _know_ Edward can't… We just… " I choke out a sob. "This isn't our place. I'm sorry."

Edward nods his head in agreement, patting me on the back awkwardly as I continue to sob.

"Okay."

Both of our eyes shoot up to the lady and we mutter a, "What?"

She grabs her long, straight hair and pulls it all over her right shoulder. "You don't have to take guardianship of Avery."

"We don't?" I ask confused.

"Of course, not. You are not legally bound to anything." She says calmly.

We both are silent for a good three minutes and then I hear Edward let out a huge sigh of relief.

"Oh, thank God. I wouldn't have had any idea of what to do."

"Who're you telling? I almost shit my pants." I mutter quietly, sighing in relief myself. I want to brush my shoulder to wipe off the metaphoric ten billion pound weight that was lying there, threatening to end me, but I know they'll just look at me weird.

The lady stands and we follow suit. She reaches out a hand to Edward and goes, "Mr. Cullen, Ms. Swan, it was nice meeting you both."

Edward shakes her hand and she turns to shake my mine. I reach out my hand and smile at her. "No problem."

She heads toward the door.

"Well, hey, wait a minute!" I spit out. The lady freezes and she turns to look at me, questioningly. "Where – I mean… who was next in line? After us, I mean. Who's going to be taking care of Avery?"

Edward purses his lips, also interested in this piece of information that he, himself, wasn't bright enough to think to ask.

"Uh," She checks her chart again, but I can tell she already knows the answer. "No one. She'll stay in CPS for the remainder of the week or until we can find a suitable – "

"CPS?" I interrupt. "You mean like child protective services? No, no-no-no-no-no-no. No. Absolutely not. She's gonna be put in a home? Like, like, in the system?"

Edward tugs at his hair again and turns around facing the wall. I can see him rub his hands over his face from the corner of my eye.

"Well," The lady nods slowly. "Yes. That is typically how we deal with situations like this. Especially with children so young."

"Situations like this. Situations like this." I repeat over and over. "What the hell does that mean?"

She looks at me sadly. "Orphaned children, ma'am."

Tears begin streaming down my face and grab a hold of the back of the chair in front of me.

The lady sets down her papers on the table and gently grabs my hands. Edward still hasn't turned back around to join us adults in this important conversation.

"Miss Swan, we are well equipped to handle this situation. These kind of things, they happen way more than any of us care to imagine. Avery will be fine. And, I can tell that the both of you really care for her, so I want you to know that – "

And before I can really stop myself I blurt out, "We'll take her."

Edward whips around like someone had just told him his precious hair was on fire. "Bella, what the he – "

"We'll take her."

The lady looks at me sternly. "Are you sure? This is a huge responsibility."

"I'm positive. I'm her godmother. I'm Alice's bff. This is my job. We said we'd always be there for each other. So, this is me. Being there for her."

Edward, who has been awfully quiet this entire meeting, goes, "Bella, you can't just – "

"We'll take her." I insist again, with a determined feeling in my bones.

The lady smiles a knowing smile, like she knew this would happen all along and hands us both a stack of papers. "Great. I'll call you tomorrow to set up a suitable time and place for a meeting about how we'll go about this process. The address of the home Avery is staying at now is on page number four, they're expecting you, so don't knock. It's very late. Children are sleeping. And," She looks at me intensely. "Get some sleep. I know you're going through a really tough time right now, but Avery needs you guys to be strong. You're goddaughter needs you."

And with that she was out the door.

I bite my lip and then take a huge breath in preparation for the fight I know is about to ensue. He can't be too mad. If he didn't want to do this, he would have tried to stop me. He didn't try to stop me… Did he?

I slowly turn around and meet Edward's blazing glare.

"What the _fuck_ is going on in your mind right now?"

I purse my lips.

.

3:30 a.m.

I walk down the stairs of Alice and Jazz's house and head towards the living room. I see Edward sprawled out on the couch with his hand covering his eyes. I know he's not asleep.

I head over and sit on table in front of him. "I, um, I think you should get some sleep."

He peeks at me from behind his hand and I bite my lip.

Since he says nothing, I continue speaking - it's this annoying habit I have that I can't seem to overcome. Babbling, that is. "You can take the bed upstairs. I already put Avery in her crib, so we should be good for a few hours. I mean, I'm not sure. I don't know her sleep pattern or anything. I've actually never actually had a baby over night before so this is all –"

"Bella," He says tiredly again. And, I'm beginning to realize that he must find me extremely annoying. Or my babbling anyway.

"Sorry." I stand up and head in the direction of the kitchen.

"What will you be doing?" I hear from behind me.

I turn around and say. "What?" I don't know why I said that. I heard what he said.

Edward looks exhausted. His hair is going in every direction possible, his face is flushed, his eyes are red…. He looks like shit. And, I wonder if I too look the same. "What will you be doing, instead of sleeping?"

"Oh, well," I pull my hair up into a ponytail with my hand. "I was going to go read over that shitload of papers that lady gave us earlier, for the tenth time today." I add slowly.

He nods, standing up.

"Actually there's something I wanted to talk to you about." He pauses and looks over at me. "I was reading and in here it says something about how, you know, like, one of us could chose to have sole guardianship."

His eyes widen and I fear that I've offended him.

"Because I know that this probably isn't in Tanya's 2011 Things to Do list and uh, you seemed pretty angry earlier and well- "

"I'm not letting you do this alone." Edward says annoyed.

"You're not _letting_ me do anything, I'm just saying, you don't have to do this for me or think if you don't you'll be hurting my feelings or whatever." I offer.

"Bella," He looks at me so intensely and so earnestly that I almost melt. It was some scary shit. "I'm doing this. Not for you or for that lady that slyly tricked you into agreeing to this. I'm doing it for Avery. Avery's my princess." He gets up to walk away but fiercely adds, "I don't give two shits about you or your feelings."

I nod at him and he leaves the room. I hear him walking up the stairs and I collapse into the nearest chair. I grab the pillow that's squeezed between me and the chair and smash it against my face.

And, then I scream as loud as I possibly can.

.

8:14 a.m.

As soon as I woke up this morning I raced to the bathroom. I emptied whatever was in my stomach for what felt like hours. My stomach had been a wreck for weeks. My eating patterns were off, I was breaking out all over my face. All I know is, I was about to have one bad period – or at least that's what I kept telling myself. However, today it was worse – most likely on the account of the new daughter I had.

I get up, brush my teeth and go to check the nursery, but Avery's not there. Edward must have her downstairs somewhere. I walk down the stairs and into the kitchen.

Edward is peeking into the refrigerator and Avery is sitting in her high chair.

"Hey there, big girl! How are you this morning?" I gently pinch her cheeks and tickle her sides. I add in that extremely annoying voice people use when talking to babies. "How's little Avery, huh?"

I straighten up and turn toward Edward and stiffly smile, "Morning." I hadn't forgotten his attitude and all the rude things he had said last night.

Edward runs a hand through his hair – and even though I hate him, that move is _so_ sexy. "Look Bella, I'm really sorry about my attitude last night. I _was_ being an asshole. I was only thinking about myself and I was thinking that maybe I could make it up to you with breakfast?"

He smiles flirty-like and holds up two pieces of raw bacon. I take one sniff and I'm a goner. I run for the downstairs bathroom but I know I'm not going to make it, when I feel hands on my shoulder leading me toward the bathroom sink.

I hurl up what could only be my intestines since there couldn't possibly be anything left in the pit of my stomach.

Edward continues awkwardly patting my back. I can hear him trying not to gag. I heave one more time into the sink and then lean my head against the edge of it.

Edward looks at me with an eyebrow raised, "Done?"

I nod. "Yeah. I think that's the last of it."

I stretch out and got into the cupboard to rinse my mouth out with water.

"You sick or something?"

"Nah, nah. It's nothing." I dismiss quickly. "My stomach's been kind of weird lately. Nothing to worry about."

Edward nods and walks over to hand Avery a bottle. "Well, you should probably see someone about that." And then, to make sure I knew he didn't say that because he cared he adds, "'Cause you know, there's a baby around and such."

"Yeah." I wipe my mouth off with the back of my hand. "Yeah, there is."

_And I'm doing just fine_ _I'm always landing on my feet_ _In the nic of time_ _And by the skin of my teeth_ _I ain't gonna stress_ _Cause the worst ain't happened yet_ _Somethings watching over me (_Sweet Serendipity_ by Lee DeWyze)_

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_Laura :) _


	2. Meet Tanya, Bitch Extraordinaire

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><p>December 12, 2011: 10:45 a.m.<p>

"You're late."

Edward and I had just rushed into the social security worker's – what is her name! – office and flopped into the seats.

"Sorry. Sorry. We tried to get here as fast as we could." I stammer. "We didn't know how to install the baby seat machine thingy. Those things are like robots."

_45 minutes ago_

"Bella, for the last time just follow the _freaking_ arrows!" Edward screams holding a crying Avery, who he's trying to calm by bouncing up and down on his hip.

"Don't tell me how to install a fucking car seat, _Edward_. I'm a woman. It's, like, practically ingrained in my system to just know how to install a fucking car seat, okay? So, back off!" I scream, jiggling the stupid car seat so hard that I actually – if I'm being totally honest – broke the damn thing. "God, this thing is useless. Why can't she just sit in a normal seat and wear a normal seat belt like a _normal_ fucking human being!"

Edward throws his hands in the air and goes, "Yeah, well, that would be a great idea if we wanted to, you know, like, _kill her._"

"Don't give me that, sass, Cullen." And, then because of the fucking screaming and the stupid fucking machine that wouldn't fit into the fucking car and the fucking baby with the fucking crying, I just couldn't take it anymore.

And, I started crying. Not the petty little, frustrated cry. No, no. The gross, heavy crying that clouds your vision and hurts your chest. And, I cry out, "Does that baby ever shut up!"

"Oh, my gosh! Take this!" He shoves the baby in my chest and I grab a hold of her and hug her to me. He looks at the car seat thingy and clicks it into place, like, immediately.

He looks back at me with a triumphant smile. I glare back at him.

"I hate you." And then I start crying some more. "I don't think – I can't – I mean, I won't –"

Edward rolls his eyes and then takes hold of my shoulders. "God, woman. You are so emotional lately."

"Edward, what if I'm a terrible mother. I mean, I know what we're doing is the right thing to do. But, what if I'm bad at it. What if I totally suck?" I look up at him through my blurry eyes and probably very blotchy face and he stares back at me so intensely and tightens his grip on my shoulders. "I mean, I didn't even know how to put in the baby seat machine thingy and – it's not funny, Edward. Stop laughing! I'm a woman. I'm a woman, goddammit. This should come naturally to me!"

"Bella," He says with a half-smile on his face. The smile didn't reach all the way to his eyes, which kind of made his smile a little depressing. Damn, we had been through so much the past two days. "I'm not gonna sit here and lie to you. We are definitely not in a place for this much responsibility. And, we're probably gonna have the hardest time ever. But, we can do this. Besides, you're too anal not to be a good mother. Okay?"

I nod weakly.

"Good." Then he awkwardly pats at my shoulders and moves to walk away.

"Edward," He looks back over at me. "I would really like a hug right now."

Edward's face distorts into this look of pain. Like it's that bad to hug me? Edward coughs and goes, "I would really like not to hug you right now."

"Edward," I say sternly and I've noticed that Avery has stopped crying. "I really need to be hugged. _We_," I look down at Avery in my arms. "need to be hugged."

"Bella, I'm just not the hugging type."

"Cullen, come fucking hug us!"

"God!" He huffs and walks over to us and wraps his arms awkwardly around my waist and pulls me in tight. I hug back with one arm and place my head underneath his chin. And, then suddenly the hug got all intense and I could feel all our emotions and pain and sorrow just seeping out of our pores. And, somewhere inside of me I noted how good of a picture this would make.

He whispers into my hair, "God, I miss Alice and Jasper so much."

I don't say anything. I just hug him tighter. As tight as I possibly could.

.

10:46 a.m.

"You guys look like you could've gotten more sleep." The social worker lady comments.

"Yeah, well, it's only been eight hours since we were last here." Edward points out.

The lady shrugs her shoulders and smiles assuredly at the both us. "Okay, so here are the papers that will the two of your joint temporary guardianship over Avery Whitlock."

I furrow my brows while reaching for a pacifier out of the diaper bag. "Temporary? Well, what does that mean?"

"Oh, well, it's just a precaution. We'll do a couple check ups and appointments to make sure that you guys are fit parents for little Avery, here, and then at that time if you wish to continue your guardianship, we'll make it legal and official."

Edward goes, "And, how do we make it official?"

"With an adoption, of course." She looks over at us and it's like her eyes are trying to make sure we understand the caliber of this decision and how this is going to affect the rest of our lives.

And, Edward swallows so loud I can hear it from my chair three feet away. Pig.

Edward looks at me and I shrug my shoulders. So, he says, "Let's do this, then."

.

11:15 a.m.

"Hey, uh, do you mind if we stop by my place? I need to grab a few things." Edward asks on our way back from social services.

"Sure, no problem. As long as we can stop by mine after."

"Okey-doke." Edward puts the blinker on and turns into the left turning lane.

I watch Edward from the corner of my eye. This was the man who I would most likely know for the rest of my life on the account of we – technically – have a baby together. Edward Cullen! Edward – wait I don't know his middle name.

"Edward, what's your middle name?"

He looks over at me, gives me a strange look, and states, "Anthony."

Edward Anthony Cullen was my partner in this. Ugh! When did my life get so screwed up?

12:00 p.m.

Avery's taking a nap on the floor so I decided to explore Edward's place. I mean, technically he was my baby's daddy. I needed to get familiar with the man. Not that he likes me. He's thought I was a nerd since high school. He was one of those extremely popular guys with the musical talent and the football and the hair. Ack! He was such an asshole. Kinda still is. But, then again he did give me a hug today. So, maybe his asshole-ness is wearing off.

I stopped at a picture of him and Jazz. I ran my fingers over their faces. How weird is it that in one day a person can just be gone? That quick. Suddenly, I hear a loud bang on the door. I get as close as I can without being seen and then Avery starts crying. So I run quickly over to the living room, grab her up in my arms, and then resume my position.

"So, what," That's Tanya's voice! "you just don't answer your phone anymore?"

"God, Tanya, you don't even know how much shit I've been through in the last day. I can't even explain it."

"What possible good reason could you have to why you ditched me this morning and haven't answered any of my calls at all today?"

Gosh, Tanya's a bitch. I honestly can't stand her. It's mostly cause she gave me hell in high school. But, also because she just gives off this "bitch" aura.

"Alice and Jazz died last night. It was pretty tragic actually. So, I've been going through a hard time. And, oh yeah. In their will, I got custody of their 5 month old child." He lists off like he was quoting his grocery list.

"What!" Tanya must have gone speechless. Oh wait, no, she's speaking again. "The fuck? You cannot be responsible for a child. Look at this house. This house is a mess." I hear her moving more into the house and move back to the couch where Avery was and sit down. "Edward, this is your problem. You always let people goad you into things."

"I'm sorry," Edward says sarcastically. "Did you miss the part where I said my best friend in the entire world _died_ last night?"

And then Tanya's in my vision and she freezes mid-step when she sees me. She walks further into the room and I hear Edward let out the loudest sigh ever. "Bella Swan?"

"Hi, Tanya. It's been a while." I get up and walk over to her with my hand outstretched and she just stares at it. I quickly move it away and pat the top of Avery's head. "Okay, then."

She whips around at Edward, who has the most painful look on his face. "What is she doing here?"

"Bella and I have joint custody of Avery. We'll be raising her together." He says slowly.

"What!" She looks like she is about to have a conniption fit. She looks over at me with a mean look in her eye. "I'm sorry. I thought I just heard him say that you two have a _baby_ together."

Edward walks over to the wall and leans up against it. "Technically, if you want to put it that way."

"Edward! The fuck? I thought we were gonna have children together."

Edward freaks out and goes, "Tanya, slow down. We're not even married."

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say. Tanya gasps this huge loud gasp and sucks in, like, every single amount of air in the room and let out the loudest growl. Seriously. I was concerned for my safety. And, Avery's of course. I've got to stop thinking about only myself now.

"How dare you throw that in my face, when you know I have been just _sitting_ on my ass waiting for you to ask me!"

Edward's – who I should just point out, is normally like the most stoic person in the entire world. And almost never yells. - eyes become the size of saucers and I can feel my face turning red. "What the hell? We've been dating for like six months!"

"We dated in high school! For, like, three years!" She flips and then when he doesn't respond adds, "Are you saying you don't want to marry me?" Tanya, with her long blonde hair and her tall white legs, and gorgeous face, stares daggers into Edward screaming at the top of her lungs, "Do you ever plan to marry me?"

"Honestly, Tanya." Edward rolls his eyes and says quietly, "If that isn't the last thing on mind I would be completely surprised."

Tanya flips a shit then and starts throwing stuff off of tables and counters and Edward just pinches the bridge of his nose all frustrated like – like this is _normal_ and _mature_ and everyday life and like _nothing_ out of the ordinary is happening here.

"Could you calm it down some? There's a baby in here!" I scream at her. She almost hit me with a post it note stack, as far as I'm concerned them are fightin' words… or throws. Whatever.

Apparently that was a bad thing to say because her eyes whip at me and I mean, if I was that witch in the Wizard of Oz and her eyes were like water I would be fucking melting right now. Even Edward looks scared for me.

Her voice gets all deep and really low. "You listen to me, _Miss Bella Swan_, just because you have joint custody of this baby doesn't mean you own Edward, you got me? This little arrangement you guys have doesn't mean he'll be over your place all the time or that you guys will start spending tons of time together or you're going to replace me and become his girlfriend or anything. You're nothing to us. You're just ugly, little nerdy Swan in grown up people's clothes trying to etch your way into Edward's life." Somehow she's like nose to nose with me and I (maybe, accidentally) peed my pants a little bit. God, that girl knows how to hit deep. "You tried that shit in high school and I'll be damned if you try again."

"We had a project together, when the fuck will you get over that!" I shout out in frustration. She ruined my whole high school career because of that. "And, actually it's exactly like what you just said. Except for that last bit, me and Edward will be spending a _ridiculous_ amount of time together. Because starting tomorrow we're looking for apartments to move in together. We're raising a child. And, I don't know what selfish planet you just hopped off from but we just went through a really difficult day and it would be "totes awesome" if you _backed_ the fuck off!"

And, suddenly Edward's holding Tanya back and Tanya's trying to attack me – mind you I still have a baby in my arms. A BABY! He finally gets her to stop flailing and yells for her to go to his room. She stomps off and Edward turns back around and glares at me annoyed, like anything I said was false or like I wasn't just almost attacked by his girlfriend.

"You should probably not talk anymore while she's here." And he walks into his room and slams the door.

Well, ex-_cuse_ me for existing.

.

12:45 p.m.

"Well, that was a long talk." I say to Edward after Tanya storms out of his room, tears running down her face and runs out of the apartment.

"Yeah, ready?"

"Yeah, sure, but uh, what happened?" I ask quietly feeding Avery her bottle.

"Uh, nothing major. She broke up with me."

I don't know how he doesn't let things affect him, but he says this so quietly, so matter of fact-ly that my heart ached a bit for him.

"I'm sorry, Edward. If I was the cause of any of this – "

"Don't worry about it." Edward insisted grabbing his keys and his duffle. "She'll be back."

He says it so assuredly that I believe him. I pack away the bottle and follow out behind him.

.

3:45 p.m.

"You know what I could really go for?"

Edward doesn't respond, which I find extremely annoying because he knows I'm not talking to Avery since I'm not using my baby voice at all.

"Edward?" I throw a stuffed animal at him. "Are you even listening?"

"Yes, Bella." He says in a very stressed voice. "What is it that you want to eat now?"

I frown at him. "That's very rude. You make me sounds like I'm always hungry."

Edward scoffs, flipping the channel to another sports related show. "You know, I'm just surprised that you're so skinny because you eat like an obese person."

I rub up and down my arms uncomfortably. "I haven't been eating that much." And then I think it over and, oh shit! Yeah, I have. "I think maybe I'm just nervous."

And then because I get a really sad look on my face Edward starts to feel bad and goes, "What is it that you want to eat, Bella?"

"It's not really that important." I get up from the sofa and turn to walk out the room. "I'll just starve."

He throws his hands up and grabs my arm. "Just tell me what you want, woman!"

"I just don't think you really care about me. And, it's very uncomfortable for me to be living under the same roof as someone who practically _hates_ me." I try to tug away because I can feel the tears about to shed, but his grip is too strong. "In fact, I know you don't care about me. You don't give _two shits_ about me or my feelings!"

We start this tug of war thing with my arm and I accidentally tug too hard and trip over his leg. I end sprawled over his body and it creates this really awkward situation because he tries to catch me with his arms around my waist.

I rush out, "I'm sorry," And, I struggle to get up out of his lap mostly because he hasn't let go of me yet.

"Listen, Bella, you need to cut that shit out." And, you know, I would be able do that no problem; however, he still hasn't let go of me and this is the closest I've ever been to him. Like, ever. "If we're gonna do this, I think it would be a good idea for the two of us to develop somewhat of a friendship. So, if you're feeling crappy and shit or are really hungry, I officially care now. Got me? So, stop crying. It makes me feel weird to see you crying all the time."

I swallow thickly and blink about a thousands times. "Okay."

"Good. Now, what kind of food do you want?"

In a small (almost child-like) voice I whisper, "Rocky Road ice cream."

"Fine." He says. "I will go get you some Rocky Road ice cream."

He says it all resignedly; however, he doesn't let me go or make any moves to get up.

I look up at his face and he's just staring down at me. I give him a weird look and question, "Do you think you could maybe – "

He continues looking at me for a long while and then shakes his head as if to rid himself of a crazy idea. "Oh yeah, sorry." He stands up, sets me on the ground and heads toward the garage. "Keep an eye on Avery!"

What the hell was that?

* * *

><p><strong>Hope you guys enjoyed it. I thought this chapter was pretty comical. <strong>

**Leave me one and let me know which part was your favorite! **

**Laura xD**


	3. Winter Weight

**Hey guys. Sorry for the delay. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter, it's a bit of a shorter one 'cause i really wanted to get it out for ya'al. This week reviewers get teasers! ;)**

**Follow me: LauraFerrari7**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. :(**

* * *

><p>December 17, 2011. 6:36 a.m.<p>

I was banging and clanging pots and pans pretty ferociously. And, while I realized I was doing it and that potentially I could wake up Edward at this ungodly hour in the morning, I didn't – I don't know what the right word to use is here – care?

"What the hell are you doing?" Edward walks into the kitchen in only a pair of pajama pants. And, yes, while his abdominal muscles were quite beautiful and majestic I was not trying to burn myself on the stove or think disturbing thoughts about Edward Cullen.

I say in a matter of fact tone, "I'm making breakfast."

"At 6:30 in the morning? Why the hell are you up right now making all this noise?" He pulls out a stool from the counter and sits down, leaning his chin against his hand.

"Well, Avery decided she didn't want to sleep through the night tonight and woke up screaming in intervals of 2 hours. I just got her down to sleep and figured since I didn't get a chance to get any sleep neither should you." I explain as I pour an egg into the pan.

"How kind," He says dryly.

"I thought so." I smile over at him. "Want any?"

"What is it?"

"Eggs,"

"Ugh," He says in an annoyed tone. "No, thank you."

I start whisking the eggs with a fork and question semi-offended, "What is that supposed to mean?"

Edward gives me a look like 'it's obvious' but clearly it's not since I have no freakin' idea what it is that he's talking about.

He gets up and walks over to the trashcan. "Do you know how many eggs you've consumed over the past week?"

I shrug not too concerned about my apparent egg-eating problem. He opens the trashcan and Holy Fuck! There's like four blue cartons of eggs in there. That's like 48 eggs! Whatever, it's not a crime or anything.

I mumble under my breath, "It's probably just PMS or something."

Edward shivers. "Ew! I don't need to know about your nasty little girly problems." He steps back, creating a barrier between us with the counter. "Let's make it a point to never talk about… you know again."

I ask innocently, "Menstrual cycles?"

"Bella!" He gets all mad and starts covering his ears. "Now I'm gonna have to wash my ears out."

I laugh, "Oh my god, you're so immature."

"And, not just with the easy stuff. No, I'm going to have to get the hard soap. That unscented, animal skin bar of soap kind."

"Oh my god," I laugh.

I turn back to the stove in order to save my scrambled eggs before they become burnt and scrape them onto a plate. I grab a fork and pull out the seat next to him. "Listen, we really need to start looking for apartments. It's been a week. We don't have this house for much longer."

He sighs, grabbing a bit of eggs off my plate with his thumb and pointer finer. "Yeah, I know. I hate this kind of shit."

I stab him with my fork. "Well, don't worry. This is one of my favorite things to do! I absolutely _love_ decorating and finding new apartments."

He rolls his eyes and goes for my eggs again, "Well that makes – stop being so stingy, Bella – one of us."

I don't know why, but lately every time Edward says my name, my stomach develops this really intense feeling. It's not painful but it's not really that pleasant either. Must make a note to look into that further tomorrow.

"Well, I'll make it my mission to change that." I laugh. "Oh, also, because I knew you were gonna say yes, I set up appointments all day today. And my dad said he'd watch Avery!" I clap my hands together. "This is going to be so much fun!"

Edward sarcastically smiles at me while basically just sliding my entire plate of eggs over in front of him. "Can't wait."

"Edward, stop stealing my food. I asked you if you wanted any and you said no, so that's what you get for being a Meany pants."

I go to grab the plate back but he stops me by putting hand on my waist and saying, "Oh, come on. You know you don't need anymore of this. Looks like you might be putting on some of that winter weight anyway, eh?"

He laughs and then abruptly stops when I just stare back blankly at him.

"I have NOT gained weight." I say sternly as tears spring to my eyes. "Right?"

And, okay, maybe he was joking, but you never ever _ever_ joke about a woman gaining weight. Ever! Isn't that written somewhere in the Guy Handbook?

He does a double take and then looks back at me startled and quickly pushes the plate back in front of me. "Bella, I'm sorry. I was just kidding. I honestly don't think – you are not getting – Bella, it was just a joke."

I look away from his face and down at my plate of eggs. I say quietly, "I didn't find that one funny."

"I'm sorry, that was out of line." I hear him say politely. But, I don't look up, for I know if I do the waterworks are just going to go completely out of control and I have been trying my damndest to stop being so overly emotional, but it's quite near impossible. Especially with this inconsiderate, insensitive jackass saying things like "winter weight." What an asshole.

I grab the plate and stand up to throw it away. Once I've scraped out the food and placed the plate in the sink, I stand there for a while. I'm not particularly staring at anything, I'm just thinking – thinking about what a colossal mess I've created of my life and how I really need to start getting my shit together.

Suddenly, I feel a hand on my arm spinning me around to face him.

"Bella," He doesn't continue for a long while and I realize that he's waiting for me to make some sort of eye contact. I look up into his deep green eyes and my lip begins to quiver.

He whispers quietly at me, "I'm sorry."

I nod quickly and turn to move away but he grabs my face with both hands and keeps me in place. My tears begin to roll over his hands and he wipes at the ones just falling with his thumbs.

"I didn't mean to make you feel bad. Seriously," He looks me deep in the eye, never breaking eye contact. "I'm honestly just bad at living with someone of the opposite sex."

"Okay," I say as firmly as I can and tear away from him and out of the kitchen.

And from somewhere deep inside me I wonder, did we just have a moment?

.

7:00 a.m.

You guys are probably wondering why Edward and I, well for lack of better word, don't exactly get along so well. Well, once upon a time Edward and I slept together. This wouldn't have been such a huge fucking deal if it weren't for the fact that he was with Tanya at the time. You know Tanya – the most popular, most beautiful, most bitchiest girl in school. Everybody knows a Tanya. And, here's the number one rule about all Tanyas everywhere: You don't fuck around on Tanyas. Period. Especially – and this is the part where Edward really fucked up – with Nerdy, Little Bella Swan. AKA the daughter of the woman who her father was caught screwing behind her mother's back _by_ said Tanya.

Edward was furious when he realized what we'd done (he was drunk) and made me swear to tell anyone who ever asked that we had a "project" together. The reason I have been so angry at him for years is because well, what girl in the right mind wants to be told by an Adonis-like god that he totally screwed you on accident and could you please, pretty please never tell anyone this happened? This would totally and I mean, like, completely ruin my rep…

That's what I said.

So, I kind of accidentally-on-purpose started the rumor that Edward and I had slept together and, in a fit of rage, I kind of sort of told him about it. In, like, the worst way possible. Nevertheless, we deny it like dogs every time either of us are confronted with it, but regardless it eventually effected his awesome celebrity status relationship with the great and the wonderful Tanya Denali and they broke up. And, thus the nickname Nerdy, Little Swan was formed.

He made my high school career a living hell and I destroyed his relationship with a girl whom he apparently really, really, extremely loved. Well, too fucking bad.

.

8:45 a.m.

"Edward!" I stumble into the house, tripping over Edward's shoes just strewn about – fucking animal. "Edward, come on. I dropped off Avery, we only have a tiny window before my dad realizes that she's actually a terrifying monster in disguise!"

I hear footsteps walking down the stairs and finally Edward comes into view. I bend down to pick up all the retail information that I had collected over the week and scoop it into a nice pile.

"Hey, Bella," Edward says, "Hey, is it cool if it Tanya comes?"

I let a short laugh – because honestly, I thought he was joking but then from the corner of my eye I see purple pumps covering the feet of – what I could only assume was – Tanya. I slowly straighten out and look Edward straight in the eye. I purse my lips.

I deliberate on how to say this nicely and decide on, "And, why exactly does Tanya need to come with us?"

Note how I only direct my question at Edward, for I know if I even look at that bitch mayhem will ensue.

"Well, Tanya and I have gotten really serious again and – "

"Edward, you don't have to explain anything to her." Tanya barks out, raising an eyebrow at me.

Oh, I hate that bitch.

"Uh, as the other owner of this new apartment I feel as though I have some say in who's deciding what are home is going to look like."

Tanya turns to Edward, "Edward, are you seriously going to let her talk to me like this?"

"Bella, please. She just wants to come." He states. "She doesn't want to have any say in it. She just wants to tag along. You'd be doing me a huge favor."

I place my hands on my head and let out a huge sigh. "Actually, _oh my goodness_, I can't believe I totally forgot! I have this other thing I have to do today." I throw the packet of retail information in his chest and begin collecting a whole bunch of random shit to make it seem like I'm in a rush. "Goodness-be, how could I forget about the thing!"

Edward looks at me confused. "What thing?"

"You know, the thing!" I turn toward the couch and put my coat back on. "The thing! God, Edward, how could you let me forget about the thing?"

"What the _hell_ are you talking about?"

I look back at Edward in (fake) disbelief, while jogging towards the door. "Edward, I don't have time for this trivial chat!"

Edward's eyes get all big when he notices I'm leaving. "Bella, what the fuck?"

"I'll see you later, okay? Send me pictures, yeah?" And, I slam the door behind me. I shake the hair on the top of my hair in frustration. I hop in my car, I throw the stuff in my arms onto the passenger seat and wonder how the fuck I grabbed the remote and a stapler?

I place my head on the steering wheel and breathe deeply. Suddenly, there's a knock on the window and let out a huge sigh. I take my time turning to the intruder. I lift my head off the wheel and run my hands through my hair to fix my hair and _then_ I roll down the window. I answer sweetly, "Yes?"

He rushes out, "Is this about the winter weight thing?"

I shake my head back and forth in confusion. "WHAT?"

"The winter weight thing? 'Cause I was just kidding about that remember?" He looks at me like he's seriously sorry and as if he has no freaking idea why I really don't want to apartment hunt anymore. What a douchebag.

I purse my lips at him. "I thought we were never bringing that up again!"

"Look, it's cold out here and I know you were just stoked about going apartment hunting and everything." I take this opportunity to take a good look at him. And, wow. I didn't realize how tired his face had gotten. He had definitely aged at least 10 years in the past 7 days. Even his green eyes seem duller than they used to be – not that I used to stare at his eyes or anything. It was just an observation.

"Edward, I'm just," I place my hands over my face and sigh, "_so_ tired, and I just can't handle the way she talks to me right now, Edward. I just…" I search for the right words. "I just lost my best friend, Edward."

He looks at me and for the first time I realize that, Oh my goodness, Edward's going through the same thing as me. And, I felt some kind of serious connection between the two of us.

"Me too, Bella." He reminds me. "I lost someone, too."

"Okay, I'll come." I let out. "Just don't let her talk to me any old kind of way. I'm the mother of your child, ya know?"

He rolls his eyes. "Please,"

He opens my door to make sure that I am actually going to get out and says, "After you, babymama?"

I laugh and push his shoulder as I step out of the car.

This trip was about to be an adventure.

...

**Hope you guys enjoyed it! Let me know what you're favorite part was. Reviewers get Teasers!**

**Laura :)**


	4. PMS

**Hey guys! I'm so sorry this chapter is so late. I had been planning to update once a week. If you follow me on twitter, you know I got extremely sick and I had exams that were out to be the death of me. It was a bad week all around. **

**On a brighter note, this chapter is written kind of differently. Mostly just dialogue. Lots of banter back and forth. More Edward/Bella bonding. But, other than that it's a quick filler chappie. **

**Hope you guys enjoy it! Leave me one when you're finished. **

**Follow me: LauraFerrari7**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. **

.

December 17, 2011. 10:01 a.m.

"I am _so_ sorry about all of this," I hear Edward apologizing to Sharon, the lady showing us the apartment. And if it's anything like the death glare she gave me five minutes ago, I know exactly how she is looking at him right now. "She's been feeling a little sick lately." He lets out an ironic laugh. "It's always around this time actually."

"It's fine. " She says shortly. "I have another appointment in half an hour and now that I have to clean up all this… _vomit_ I'll have to start getting ready now. Sorry to cut your appointment so short."

I can imagine Edward running a hand through his hair in a stressed out manner. "No. It's not a problem at all. We'll be out of your hair in no time."

I hear her heels clonking on the linoleum and I can tell she is pissed off from the furious sound it makes. I lay my face back down on the toilet seat and let out a large sigh. I push my bangs up out of my face and shake my head back and forth. I flush the toilet, stand up, and slowly walk toward the sink. Before I turn the sink on I hear Tanya's voice say my name. I halt, step closer to the door, and press my ear against it.

"Tanya, leave it alone." Edward mumbles.

"Just think about it, Edward." I crack the door a bit and peek out of the hole for a better visual. Tanya's standing with her back to the door and arms crossed. "She throws up at the same time every day? That's a little sketchy to me."

"Babe," Edward says tiredly. "You know I don't speak girl code. Just say what you're trying to say."

"Edward," She releases her arms and places them on his shoulders. "What time is it?"

"I don't know, like, ten o'clock?"

"Exactly." She nods. "Ten o'clock in the fucking _morning_." She starts nodding her head like they're on the same page, like what she's saying is so _fucking_ obvious.

"Okay, so?"

Tanya releases her hold on him and throws up her hands in exasperation. "God, do I have to spell it out for you? The girl's pregnant."

My eyes widen and I watch as Edward's face freezes. And then he starts laughing. Like, really hard. Insultingly hard, actually.

"Trust me, Tanya. Bella hasn't been with _anybody_ in at least a year."

"That doesn't mean jack shit, Edward."

Edward shakes his head in a I-can't-believe-we're-even-having-this-conversation type way. "Bella's not that kind of girl, Tanya."

Which is ironic seeing as how I slept with him in high school and we were most definitely _not_ in a relationship or anything of the sort. For all he knows I'm a slut – a dirty, dirty slut. How dare he clump me into a category when he doesn't even know me! The nerve of people.

"Edward, she's pale. She looks sick. And, she's throwing up all the time. Has she been eating weird shit?"

"I don't know, look, Tanya," Edward looks over at the bathroom door quickly as if he really didn't want to be having this conversation. "When she comes back out here you better drop this. Don't start accusing her of being pregnant. She's really sensitive about shit, especially her weight."

She scoffs and says sarcastically. "I wonder why."

"I really wish you weren't like this sometimes."

She places her hands on her hips and goes, "I really wish you weren't so dense sometimes." She wraps her arms around him and looks up at him. "Edward, I love you. I'm just trying to look out for you."

"I'm sure that's what it is."

She drops her arms instantly. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Please, Tanya," Edward says, "You've had it out for the girl since high school."

"Edward," She says in disbelief and then points at him. "You started it."

The look on Edward's face is strange. He looks torn.

"You started it." She repeats. "I just followed. We all just followed."

Edward purses his lips and averts his gaze away from her and at the bathroom door – at me. I silently close the door and turn back to the mirror. I do seem a little pale, but that can just be chalked up to the fact that I was just puking my guts out. I wash my hands and walk out the door to face Edward and Tanya.

I ran a hand through my hair as they look at me with scrutiny. This is so annoying. They are staring straight at my stomach, like, they're not trying to be secretive of it at all.

I tug at the bottom of my sweater and place my jacket over my chest. "Ready to go?"

Edward's eyes blink up to my face and he frowns, "Yes," He adds, "You okay?"

I nod assuredly, giving a tight smile. "Perfect."

Tanya shakes her head at me, then turns to follow Edward out of the room. I let out a huge breath and sigh. If I don't know anything, I know one thing.

Shit's. About. To Hit. The Fan.

December 20, 2011. 2:45pm

"That's it!"

Edward comes charging into the kitchen furious waving around a small box. He throws in my lap, crosses his arms over his chest and glares at me.

I look down at the box and then quickly glare up at him. "What the hell is this?"

He doesn't let go of his stance. He looks determined. God, I _really_ didn't want to do this today. All I wanted to do was lounge on the sofa and watch ABC Family's 25 days 'till Christmas movies. Nothing ever goes right in my life.

"You know what it is, Bella." His face has this real stern-like look on it. And, maybe it was the wrong time to be thinking of things like this but I just know he will be a great father.

"Edward, I told you," I get up and throw the box on the counter. "It's _just_ PMS." I start messing with random mail on the table, straightening absolutely nothing in order to avert my gaze from him. "I don't want to have this conversation again."

Edward screams frustrated, "Bella, you can't have PMS for an entire month!"

I hate it when he tries to tell me what to do. Like, because we share custody of a child together and live together and shit he can just start offering advice whenever the fuck he wants to. Uh, I don't think so.

"Don't tell me how long I can have PMS. I can have PMS for however the hell long I want to have it, Edward." I shove him away from me.

"Isabella Swan –"

He stops mid-sentence when I glare coldly up at him. I point my finger in his face. "Do _not_ Isabella Swan me."

I don't know why but whenever he says my full name he always sounds really proper – almost as if he has an accent. It does weird things to my body. Things that I _do not_ like.

He waves the box in my face. "Just pee on the fucking stick, Isabella!"

I gasp loudly. Again with the full name shit! I furiously snatch the box away from him and throw it back at his face. I glare at him angrily, "I told you it's PMS!"

"Oh, my god," Edward shoves his hand into his hair. "If you feed me that bullshit, one more time!"

I go, "Stop telling me what to do,"

"Well, how the hell else am I going to get you to listen to me?"

I shake my head and walk past him straight to the stairs. He grabs the box and follows after me.

"Why are you avoiding this?" He screams over at me. "Bella? Bella Swan, can we please, for the love of all that is holy, have a conversation like two fucking adults for one minute!" He reaches out and grabs my arm, pulling me away from the stairs and straight into his chest.

I shout back, tears beginning to well up in my eyes, "Because!" I take a step back, but he doesn't let go of my forearm.

"Because?" He looks like he's visibly shaking and goes, "Because you don't know how to take care of a child? Because having a child would be a scary thing? Newsflash babe, you already got one!"

"No!" I try to pull my arm away and my voice gets really high and shaky. "No, that's not why!"

"Then what is it?" Edward screams out and then his voice gets all quiet and he looks me deep in the eyes. He whispers, "What's going on with you, Bella?"

The atmosphere gets all thick and intense. And suddenly we're both talking barely above a whisper. "I don't have to answer to you, Edward."

"Well, you're not even answering to yourself." He whispers at me with this (dare I say) extremely concerned look, gleaming in his eye. "You've gotta answer to somebody."

The tears fall out of my eyes and run down my cheeks at a pace that would make Niagra jealous. "You don't even like me. You've always hated me, even in high school. Why should I confide in you?"

"Because," He shrugs, as if it's so fucking simple. "I'm all you've got now."

And then I cry harder because that is so _fucking_ true.

"I don't want to, Edward."

"Why?" He starts getting angry. 

I shrug, wiping my face. "I don't want to know, Edward."

"But, why? What will it change?"

I bite my lip and he looks at me like I'm crazy. And maybe I am. Maybe I have finally hopped that fence that I have been straddling for the past 26 years. And, you know what? That is totally fine with me. I think I am allowed to be a little crazy. I just lost my best friend in the entire world and now I have a child, with a man who hates me. I think it's okay if I pretend like I don't know that there is a major possibility I may have a human being growing inside of me right now.

"Bella?" He asks again, getting slightly louder. "Why don't you want to know?"

And before I can really rethink why or remember who the hell I was talking to, I blurt out, _"Because I don't know who the father is, okay!"_

He drops my arm suddenly and looks at me with wide eyes. "What do you mea-"

"Exactly what I said, Edward." I dig my hands in my hair, but I forgot it was in a ponytail so my hands got stuck. "I don't remember sleeping with anybody, Edward."

"What do you mean you don't remember sleeping with anybody?" Edward looks at me incredulously. And, to be honest, I must've looked crazy with my hands stuck in my hair and my mouth spouting off crazy things like not knowing who my baby's daddy is. Oh, god, I'm such a mess. "How do you just forget you had sex with someone?"

"Exactly, what I said, Edward! Damn! Pay attention." I know my face is beat red and angrily I sit down on the bottom step in a huff. Edward steps over next to me and sits down. He's not looking at me; he sits there in shock. "I must've been really really drunk, because one minute I'm at the club, drinking away my feelings of self-loathing. It was my birthday and Jasper had this business thing and Alice just _had_ to go. And I told her it was alright but it wasn't. Because it was my birthday. And, I just, you know, realized that where I was in my life… it wasn't what I wanted. I was so – I am so completely alone. You know? And, it sucked. It sucked. And the next thing I remember is waking up in some random hotel room, naked and alone. Again."

I close my eyes to avoid having to watch him look at me with my shame coloring every inch of my body.

I hear him cough and then say, "You don't remember anything?"

I nod. "I was really, really drunk."

"Are you sure… are you sure no one slipped you anything?"

I open my eyes to see him staring holes into my face. "Positive."

"Well, you know," He sighs. "These things happen."

I laugh sarcastically and bitterly. "No, no they really don't."

"Well, no, they don't." He places his hand on my shoulder and starts kneading it in this strange almost, I want to say, sexual way. Which makes me think, Hello? Do you not remember Tanya? The woman you're _always_ leaving me for? And then that thought makes me think to myself, When the hell'd I get so bitter over Tanya? And then all this thinking and self-arguing leads me to forget what the main reason of this inner monologue was and that was the fact that Edward had his hand on my shoulder in a non-platonic-like friend way. Which was weird.

"Bella, I know I've been an asshole to you. It's not that I'm trying to be. It's just the only thing I know how to be around you." I nod and he narrows his eyes at me slightly. "But, we both just lost our best friends. And, if that's not enough to force us to bond together, I think the fact that we share Avery will."

I shake my head in annoyance and kind of shove off his hand. "Edward, you called me "ugly, little, nerdy Swan". You single-handedly destroyed my high school career, which resulted in creating the mess I am today. I'll probably never get over that." I lean my head onto the banister and let out a huge breath in an extremely overly dramatic type way.

He smirks over at me. "I'll grow on you. I promise."

I laugh – and it feels good to laugh, after all that heavy, intense conversation.

Edward hops up and stands in front of me with his hands stretched out toward me. "Come on, let's go take that pregnancy test."

I look up at him like he's crazy. Okay, we may just have had a really deep conversation or whatever, but that does not mean we're at the level where I can pee in front of you. The boy's delusional.

"Did you just miss that whole story where I told you the reason why I didn't want to take it?" I lick my lips. "I thought it was a pretty convincing argument."

"Bella, I thought you just needed to get the story off your chest." He says. "You're not really just not going to take it, are you?"

I stand up and laugh. "I at least want to be able to keep denying it until after Christmas." I clean up my face with the bottom of my shirt. "It's Avery's first Christmas. I don't want to ruin my Christmas spirit."

Edward purses his lips and then frowns. "Fine. After Christmas. But, not a day after!"

I continue to walk up the stairs and laugh. "Okay, dad."

.

December 23, 2011. 12:00pm

"What I don't understand is why we couldn't wait until after fucking Christmas to move into this godforsaken place?"

Complain, complain, complain. That's all he ever did.

"I told you," I began, placing a decorative pillow down onto the couch. "We have to have our first Christmas together in our own home. If we're gonna be a family, we're gonna do it right, goddammit!"

Edward plops down a huge box that reads KITCHEN down in the middle of the floor and collapses on the couch. "How come I'm the only one carrying large boxes. You just brought in a fucking pillow!"

"Well, besides the fact that I'm carrying Avery," I remind him. "I don't think it'd be such a great idea to carry heavy items."

Edward looks up at me with a skeptical eye and I laugh. "Uh, that line won't work on me until you actually find out for real." He pulls himself up with his elbows and asks, "If you want to put a halt on this moving ordeal and take the test, we can. I am totally all for that idea."

"Fuck no, Edward Cullen. We're getting this apartment set up today!" I throw the only decorative pillow in the house at him. "And, why the hell do you want to know so goddamn bad? You'd think you were my baby's daddy."

"Firstly, you really need to cut down on the cuss words." I roll my eyes as he finally pulls himself off the couch. "And, secondly, how can you not? The suspense is killing me!"

"Well, it'll have to kill you just a little bit longer." I kiss the side of Avery's face as I turn to walk back outside to the moving truck.

He catches up to me and whispers in my ear. Is he flirting with me? "That's not very Christmas spirit-like of you."

I glare at him. "Kiss. My. Ass."

.

**Hahaha. Bella cracks me up! Hope you all enjoyed it. **

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**Laura xD**


	5. When Drunken Mishaps are Revealed

**Hi guys! Sorry it took so long to get the teasers out. But, on the bright side I _am_ posting on Thanksgiving! So, yayy!**

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**Disclaimer: The sad truth is... I do not own Twilight. But, i act like i do. **

* * *

><p>December 27, 2011. 12:12 p.m.<p>

One thing I could never figure out is why grocery stores were so damn complicated. I had been walking around this damn Meijer for the last five minutes looking for the goddamn baby food, but somehow I ended up in the snack aisle. Oh well, I figured. I might as well not waste a trip. I drop three cans of Pringles and two bags of Lays potato chips into the cart.

I go to leave when I see the best looking back of pretzels I have ever seen. Not kidding. THE BEST. However, it is all the way on the very top counter. I reach as high as I possibly can, stretching my arm further than it ever should. Feeling adventurous, I step on the bottom shelf, knocking down box after box. These goddamn pretzels better be worth it. Unfortunately, after all this activity I _still_ cannot reach the top shelf, when suddenly I see an arm grab at the exact bag of pretzels I was aiming for. AKA: The only bag left.

"The hell!" I scream. I jump down swiftly and exclaim, "Ex-_cuse_ me, asshole." I snatch the bag back from his loose grasp. "You saw me trying to get that."

I finally take a good look at his face and freeze. He smirks down at me and says sheepishly, "I know. I was getting it for you."

"Jake?" I haven't seen this guy in years. I reach up and give him a huge hug. "Jake, it's so good to see you."

"Yeah, you too." He smiles back at me and ruffles my hair. "You wouldn't believe me but I have had a heck of a hard time trying to get in contact with you."

And then it all clicks.

_October 25, 2011 11:29 p.m._

"_Bella?" I lift my head off the bar counter to the person calling my name. "Bella Swan? The Bella Swan?" _

_I smile up at him, surprised to see him in Seattle. "Jake." _

"_I thought I saw the last of you the day you left Forks and everyone in it in the dust." _

"_Yeah, well," I shrug; a little embarrassed I was so drunk in front of my old friend. "You know how it is." _

_He sits down next to me and just smiles at me. He repeats again (almost in awe)."Bella Swan," _

"_That's what it says on my birth certificate." Actually it doesn't. It says Isabella Swan. But, whatever. I down the rest of the vodka in my glass and bang on the counter to get the bartender's attention. "Hey, Guy! Who do I have to kill to get some service down here?" _

_The bartender rolls his eyes, but walks over anyway. Jake laughs. _

"_Gosh, Bells. You look amazing." He stares at me in that way that makes my insides shiver and my face turn bright red. _

"_Thanks," And then to offer my explanation. "It's my birthday." _

"_Oh yeah?" He is still smiling brightly at me and if I wasn't so drunk that would be really really annoying. "You here with anybody?" _

_Yeah, he is definitely pressing that annoyed button. "Oh, uh, nah." I shake my head and grab the margarita the bartender sets in front of me. _

"_I thought you said it was your birthday?" _

_I avert my eyes from his gaze and turn to look at the counter in front of me. I run a hand through my hair and sigh. Suddenly, Jacob is right next to me (completely ignoring my personal space, by the way) and takes my hand. _

"_Come on," He flashes that great big Jacob-smile that is so so hard to resist. "Birthday girl shouldn't be alone today." _

"_Tell that to my best friend." I frown. _

_He just winks at me and leads me to the dance floor. _

_Thirty minutes later I'm laughing my heart out, dancing with Jacob in the middle of the dance floor. He spins me around and tugs me back in close to his chest. He waggles his eyebrows and I laugh. _

"_I see you finally found that right foot, eh, Swan?" _

"_Shut up, Jake. I always had it. I just didn't find dancing with you that pleasurable." I place my arms around his neck. "I was stepping on your feet on purpose." _

_He lets out a loud laugh and spins me around so my back is against his chest. He murmurs low in my ear, "Is that so?" _

_I swallow (loudly, because I'm drunk, and so what? You the swallow-police?). "Yes," _

_He thrusts up into my ass, inviting me to grind back against him, and I do. Because it's my birthday, and Alice left me and I'm alone and he's fun and I just want to feel loved for once in my godforsaken life. _

_He places his hands on my waist and pulls me in tight grinding right back. I can feel him growing more and more excited underneath me. _

_He whispers in my ear again, "Bella Swan, you should really let me show you a good time tonight." _

_And apparently, that is _exactly_ what I did._

_._

December 27, 2011. 12:15 p.m.

"Holy shit," The words fly out of my mouth as my hand flies over my mouth. Shit. Just. Got. Real. "Holy shit, Jake. Holy shit!"

His eyes widen and he places his hands on my shoulder while he watches my eyes tear up. "What? What's wrong?"

"Shit, Jake. We –" I shake my finger between the two of us. "We slept together, didn't we?"

Jacob looks at me strangely, then nods his head. "Yeah, Bella." He sighs and then lets go of one of my shoulders. "Look, Bella. I wanted to apologize."

I ran a hand through my hair and crinkle my eyes. "For what, Jake?"

"For that night." He looks at me like I should just know what he's talking about. And, unless he was talking about the possible baby that we might have conceived together, I had no _fucking_ idea what he is talking about. "I went out to get some coffee and breakfast and when I came back I realized you must've thought I had, you know, ditched."

I scrunched my eyebrows together. "Wait, what?"

He throws his hands in his pockets annoyed and sighs, "I should have left a note, Bella. I've been feeling terrible about it for months."

So, that explains why I woke up alone.

"Oh," And, strangely it makes me relieved. I let out a huge breath. "That actually makes me feel a lot better now. Well, less like a whore anyway,"

"Bella," He steps closer to me and grabs my face, "You are anything but, Bella. And, I'm sorry I made you feel that way."

For some crazy reason (hormones, maybe?) my eyes begin watering again, and the tears spilled over his hands.

"Jacob," I swallowed as he attempted to wipe my tears off my face. "Jacob, we need to –"

"Uh," I freeze. Shit! "Hope I'm not interrupting anything."

Jacob drops his hands and we both turn towards the voice. Edward is standing there angrily, holding Avery, who has her arms held out to me, and a grocery cart filled with baby stuff.

When Edward sees Jacobs face his entire demeanor changes and I feel Jacob tense behind me, and I close my eyes.

Here's the scoop on Edward and Jacob.

As previously mentioned, Edward was popular. Extremely popular. Captain of the football team popular. And every captain of the football team needs a rival. Basically this was the situation: Captain of the football team? Meet the captain of your biggest rival's football team. You know, the team that always beat you? Yeah, them. This is their leader. And, uh, he's better than you.

So, clearly Edward hated Jacob. And, Jacob hated Edward. It was mutual. It was understood. But, it wasn't like Edward and I were friends, or even tolerated each other in high school. So, I am pretty sure he cannot be mad at me for this situation. Right?

Wrong.

"Jacob Black," Edward spat, switching Avery over to his other hip.

"Edward Cullen," Jacob look pissed. He looks between the two of us (and at Avery) and questions with tight lips, "You two… go together?"

"NO!" I shake my head furiously, trying to quickly wipe up the left over tears. "Not at all. "

Edward finally releases his gaze from Jacob to take a hard look at me. "You're crying. Why are you crying?" He wheels towards Jacob. "What did you do?"

And, you know, it's cute and all that Edward was concerned about me and everything, but it is _really_ difficult to look tough and shit while holding a five-month old baby in a frilly, pink outfit. He looked kind of ridiculous.

Jacob's eyes scrunch up, he steps closer to Edward and says, "I didn't do anything."

Edward grabs my arm and drags me near him. "Bella, you shouldn't hang around this guy. He's –" He raises an eyebrow. "He's not good company to keep."

I tug at my arm and whisper, "Edward, we need to talk."

"The _fuck_ does that mean, I'm not good company to keep?" He grabs my other arm and pulls me back near him. "Me and Bella know each other very well."

And, all I'm thinking is, how do I get myself in these types of situations?

Jacob sneers over at Edward and goes, "If I remember correctly, it was you she was always telling me gave her hell all throughout high school, wasn't it?"

"That was years ago," Edward dismisses. "It's different now."

"Doesn't matter." Jacob replies. "You're still an asshole."

Edward gets all up in Jacob's face and growls, "Jacob Black, you know _nothing_ about me and Bella, okay?"

"I know you're an asshole."

I rush to stand in between the two. "Guys, guys, guys." I turn toward Edward and place a hand on his chest. "Edward, stop. Jake is –" I swallow. "Jake is the guy I slept with at the club that day. The one I was telling you about?"

His eyes widen and his face brightens with understanding. If possible, his face grows even more pissed than he started out with. "I thought you said you didn't remember who you slept with?"

Jacob goes loudly, "You didn't remember that you slept with me?"

Edward smirks over at him. "Well, apparently you're performance wasn't that memorable."

Jacob grits his teeth. I turn towards Jake – and, honestly, I'm getting a little dizzy from all this back and forth. "I was drunk out of my mind, Jake."

Edward looks at Jacob like he's scum he found on the bottom of his shoe. "You took advantage of her while she was drunk?"

Jacob's face turns red and he clenches his fists. "I didn't know she was drunk!"

Edward gives him a look – a look that closely resembles the one people get right before they want to punch somebody in the fac.

Edward lifts an eyebrow, and pulls Avery's hand off his face. "And, I'm the asshole?"

I lightly shove Edward. "Hey! In my defense I am an extremely coherent drunk!"

"Hey, don't take all the blame," Edward says snidely. "I'm sure Black knew exactly what he was doing."

Jacob puffs up and gets right in his face. "Dude, you are so lucky you have that baby in your arms."

"Or what?" Edward spits,

"Stop! Guys!" I do my best to peel the two apart, and just in case my attempt fails, I quickly grab Avery away from Edward. I, then, screech at the top of my lungs, "Are we really gonna do all this in the _fucking_ snack aisle of the _fucking_ grocery store?"

Edward and Jacob both back away slightly from each other to look around and finally notice all the attention they've grabbed.

Ugh! Why must I always be forced to be the responsible one?

"Jacob, here's my address. " I slip a piece of paper, that I had hurriedly scribbled our address on, and slipped it in his hand. "Meet us there in an hour okay?"

Jacob looks from Edward to me and does not look too convinced.

"Please, Jake," I place a hand on his arm. "I _really_ need to talk to you."

Jacob shakes his head quickly and huffs. "Fine." And, briskly walks away.

I turn back to Edward, a hand on my hip, and, in disappointment, Avery and I both shake our heads at him.

.

December 27, 2011. 1:00 p.m.

"I don't like this. I don't like this. I do _not_ like this."

Edward repeats this mantra as he paces in front of the television. His hair is disheveled and appears as though many hands have swept through it.

"Edward," I step in front of him to stop his pace. "It's not a big deal."

"It's not a big deal! He's your baby's daddy? How is that not a big deal?" He screeches at me, looking so completely stressed out to the max.

I scratch the back of my neck and mumble. "Potential. We don't know anything for sure."

"Oh please, Bella." He lifts up my sweatshirt and it is definitely apparent that I have gained some weight. My completely flat stomach has gained the tiniest (almost, inconspicuous really) bulge near the bottom of my abdomen. I snatch the material out of his hand and place it back over my skin.

"Edward, I don't understand why you're so mad about this. This has nothing to do with you?"

Edward freezes and glares at me. "Nothing to do with me? Everything you do now has something to do with me! We already have a baby we don't need another one!"

Ouch.

"Well, good news for you, Edward Cullen," My face turns bright red as I feel myself start to become more and more angrier. "_We_ won't be having another baby, okay? _I_ will! Well, _Jake_ and I will."

He rolls his eyes and continues as if he didn't hear me. "Bella, you live _here_. Your baby will live _here_. I live _here_. This baby will be in my life, Bella. _Jacob Black_ will be in my life now. This concerns me too."

My eyes water – for, like, the fifteenth fucking time today.

My voice gets all teary. "I'm sorry that my life is so inconvenient for you, Edward."

His face falls and he goes, "No, Bella, that's not -"

"No, Edward. I'm so sorry." I stalk away from him but then turn back quickly. I say quietly to him. "I didn't plan this, Edward. I didn't plan _any_ of this."

I go to walk away again but then I turn back again. I shove him as hard as I can against the wall. "If you weren't okay with this, why did you say you'd be here for me!" I shove him again. "You said that we were gonna bond!" Shove. "You said that you were going to be less of an asshole to me and that hasn't. happened. yet!"

And then I started punching him in the chest with no abandon. He doesn't stop me. He just lets me get all my anger and frustration out until I'm a blubbering mess, crying too hard to see. He pulls me into his chest and I just cry. He wraps his arm around me and places the other hand on the back of my head.

"I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be an asshole." He murmurs. "It's just…"

I look up as he fades off. I place my chin on his chest and look up at him, saying through my tears, "It's just what?"

"It's just…" He places the back of his head on the wall. "Just… " He sighs and then whispers, "Why does it have to be him?"

His face looks extremely pale. He says, "I do care about you, Bella. I don't know exactly when that happened. But, what happens to you… I do _care_ about that now."

He said it like it pained him a bit, but it was so cute watching his realization. I place my hands on his cheek and rub his cheek with my thumb.

And, then it's like we were sucked into some type of different time continuum vortex because it's the only way I can explain the reason why Edward leans his head down toward me as if, and this might sound crazy, he was going to kiss me. And, the crazier thing is, I lift my head to meet him.

Right before our lips met, there was a knock on the door.

Edward doesn't release his hold on me and the knocking begins again. Afraid the knocks would wake up Avery I whisper, "Edward,"

He knocks again.

Edward finally lets me go. He says, heading to the couch, "That'll be your Jacob Black." I nod, shake my head and go to answer the door.

What the fuck almost just happened there?

Jacob standing there with his hands stuffed in his pockets, looking extremely anxious. "I'm here."

"Yes, you are." My arms flop down to my sides and we stand there awkwardly. And, then I realize that I missed my cue. I grab his arm and pull him inside. "Well, come on in, Jake."

I lead us into the living room and hear Jacob freeze behind me. I turn and he is glaring over at Edward sitting on the couch. He takes a look around the room and notices all the toys and baby items all over the place and whips his face back at me.

"What the hell is all this? Does he live here?" Jacob yells. I nod. Whenever Jacob got seriously angry or upset his body would start shaking. He looks at me accusingly. "You guys have a kid together."

"No!" I insist.

Edward looks at me sternly. "Yes,"

I look back over at Jacob and go, "Well, I guess technically we do."

"Bella, what the hell?" He looks like he is five seconds from running out the door. "I didn't sign up for all of this. All I wanted was to go out on a date with a beautiful woman that I re-met at the club." He places his hands over his eyes. "I didn't sign up for a baby and I sure as hell didn't sign up for Edward fucking Cullen!"

Edward and I exchange a worried look and I bite down on my bottom lip. I walk over to Jacob, grab his hands, and lead him over to the couch. He sits down next to Edward and I stand in front of them.

I swallow and decide to give myself a little pep talk. At some point I need to effing man up. Well, I need to woman up, anyhow. I'm going to be a mother. And, possibly maybe a mother of two. I had to get my life together. I needed to figure out what I wanted to do I life. What I wanted to do for my career, what I wanted to do with my love life, and what I wanted to do about these babies. But, I figured I'd start with Jake first.

"Jacob, we need to have a serious talk."

He looks up at me and purses his lips, "Why do I feel like this has something to do with me?"

Edward cackles, "Oh, because it does."

Jacob and I give him a look and then I continue.

"Do you remember Alice?"

Jake thinks about it and asks, "The girl you hung out with in high school?"

"Yes. She married Jasper and they had a baby." I swallow. "And, then a couple weeks ago they were… they were um, uh… they – "

Edward noticing my struggle, interrupts saying, "They were in a fatal car accident and left us with their child."

Jacob's eyes widen. "No shit,"

"Yeah," I lick my lips. "So, Edward and I have to raise this baby together. That's it."

"So, you guys aren't anything else to each other?" Jake questions staring straight into my eyes intensely.

"Um," I can feel Edward staring intensely at me, willing me to respond in the positive, but I can't help but think of Tanya and his stoic asshole-like tendencies and… and Ugly Little Bella Swan. And, the first thing that left my mouth was, "Absolutely not. Nothing at all."

Edward's eyes fall off my face and he immediately begins staring at the wall to his left.

I frown at his reaction. And, to remind him of this fact that he seemed to be overlooking I continue, looking straight at Edward, "Edward has a girlfriend. She's a TV journalist." And, I try with all my might to not sound sarcastic as I say, "She's fantastic. Whereas, at best, I'm just a professional student."

Edward looks back over at me like he is trying to send me some telepathic message, but I cannot quite seem to figure out what he was trying to say.

"Okay," Jake nods, looking a lot brighter than he did when he first walked in. "But, uh, what does this all have to do with me?"

"Okay, um, Jake," I squeeze myself in between Jacob and Edward and took Jacob's hand. "Jacob, you know how I couldn't remember who I slept with that night?"

He looks at me strangely. "Yeah?"

"Well, lately, I've been acting really weird and emotional. And, I've gained a little weight and I might have missed a couple periods. So, you know, Edward thinks that maybe,"

Jacob hand freezes and I can tell that he has probably already caught on. But, he plays ignorant anyway. "Maybe what?"

"Edward thinks that I might be…" I fade off and increase the grip in which I hold on to Jacob's hand.

Jacob looks me in the eye and watches as tears begin to fill my eyes. He lets out a huge breath and slowly releases his hand from the hold I had on him. He whispers at me, "He thinks that you might be pregnant?"

I nod and quietly begin to cry.

"Okay, well, shit." Jacob mutters quietly to himself. He gets up from the couch and begins pacing in front of us. He slowly begins to look more frustrated and lets out a loud, "Shit!"

I jump at the fierceness in his voice; however, he continues. "Shit! How could this be happening?"

I couldn't be to angry at his reaction. I had had weeks to get used to this. Ignore it as I might, in the back of mind, I still knew the reality. Jacob has only known about this for 30 seconds. I could give him time to adjust. Edward, however, is a different story.

Edward crosses his arms and says snidely, "Hey, if you're not man enough to take care of your responsibilities, it's no biggie alright. I've just inherited one kid, what's one more?"

Jacob whips around to face Edward, teeth bared. "You will _not_ be raising my child."

And, if I think about it, behind the snide remark and the sarcastic tone, Edward did just offer to help raise my child with me, which was really really sweet.

"Raising? Fathering?" Edward smirks. "It's all the same to the baby really."

Jacob, fed up, takes two quick steps to be in front of Edward and grabs him up by his T-shirt. He looks like he's about to start swinging when suddenly from the baby monitor a cry breaks out.

Desperate to break up the mayhem occurring in front of me, I rush out in the best mom voice I could possibly summon up. "That's Avery. I'm going to go up there and when I come back down you two better have your shit handled."

They look over at me hands on each other's clothes without responding.

I set my hands on my hips. "You hear me?"

They both nod shyly.

"Good." I begin walking toward the stairs. "'Cause I am serious. If I come back down here and you guys are still on this he-man _shit_, I will burn this motherfucker down to the mother fucking ground!"

I may, in the heat of the moment, got caught up in all the excitement and exaggerated the extensive means I am actually willing to go to end their trivial fights.

Whatever. They need to know I mean business.

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><p><strong>Okay, so shit hit the fan, right? Lots more craziness in store. <strong>

**Drop me a line and let me know what you think's gonna happen next. **

**Laura :) **

**P.s. Reviewers = Teasers ;) **


	6. Real Life Collides

**Yeah, that delay was so long you should all find out where I live and stone me... i sowwy! O_o**

**Thanks for being so patient with me. I do love you all for it. Also, during the break I wrote a oneshot (it's a little lengthy) you should all check it out. It's called "all we can do is keep breathing" **

**Follow me on Twitter for questions/teasers/etc. : LauraFerrari7**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. But, i pretend like i do. :) **

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><p>December 27, 2011: 2:34 p.m.<p>

I never understood the point of assholes.

Like, why do they exist? To torture us? To inflict unnecessary pain on us? Because the world wasn't shitty enough? Had I known that everyone I would encounter in life would be the devil reincarnated, I would've offed myself a long time ago.

.

"Fuck you! Fuck _you_! Fuck this apartment! Fuck this world! Fuck this cup!" Edward and Jacob dodge out of the way when I throw a cup full of warm pee at them. Crap. Now I'd have to clean all that up later. I should've thought that through. "Fuck my life! And, FUCK. THIS. PREGNANCY. TEST." And I chuck it down the stairs.

I didn't realize how angry I would become once I had actual proof that I was pregnant. I mean, the signs – they were obvious. The mood swings – they were unbearable. Yet still, I was able to hide under the shell that nothing was for certain, that maybe I had some kind of crazy sickness that looked like pregnancy but was actually really fatal for my health. How I hoped I would have some kind of disease that was fatal to my health!

So, here I am, bawling my eyes out in the coat closet I just locked myself in. Hiding from the two men who have never caused me worse pain.

"Bella," I heard Jake's soft voice say. "Bella, come on out. Let's talk about this."

Blinded by rage and clearly not yet able to think clearly, I yelled out, "FUCK YOU, JACOB BLACK!"

"Bella, Bella, I know your upset."

"You don't know shit!" I slammed my foot against the door. "You don't even know how to wrap up your goddamn dick!"

I could hear Edward cackling in the background and that only infuriated me more.

There was a rustling outside the door and then, "Maybe," I rolled my eyes as I heard Jacob getting ready to try once more with his shitty way of getting me out of the closest. "Maybe it's a false positive. I've heard of those. That can happen right?"

As soon as I started thinking about what he was saying and actually considering the possibility that he could be right, I hear Edward let out a huge guffaw.

"Right! And, maybe money grows on trees?" He joked. I slammed my foot against the door again, imagining it was his head. "Cut the shit, Swan and get the hell out of this closet!"

"I don't want to." I admitted quietly.

"It's not about what you want," He stated. I could almost imagine him leaning back against the wall, talking into his hands. "It hasn't been about what you want for a very long time."

I nodded, to no one but myself, because of how true that statement was. Silent tears fell down my cheek as I contemplated my terrible existence.

"And that sucks. And, it's hard. But, it's life. And, if you don't get out of this fucking closet in the next minute, I'm going to break. the door. down."

Edward was a no-shit kind of guy. He always told me exactly what he thought I should do. No bushes to beat around. No circles to walk in. He was firm and although I didn't want to hear it, I knew he was right. Somehow, he's always right.

I slowly rose to my feet and wiped my face clean of tears. I turned the knob and opened the door and stepped out to face Edward and Jacob. Edward's standing across the hall with his arms crossed and Jacob, whose face is still frozen in shock, is just standing there. I run my hand through my hair and look at the wall. "I'm so sorry about this, Jacob." I wrap my arms around myself and do everything in my power not to cry. "I am so sorry."

I saw him nod sharply from the corner of my eye, but he didn't respond. He also didn't come comfort me like I thought maybe he would.

I looked over at Edward and he jerked his head toward the stairs. "Let's take you to the doctor so we can be sure."

I nodded shakily and closed my eyes. Edward, and it was scary how I could tell who it was by the way his touch felt, put a hand on my back, "Now, Bella."

My eyes shot open and I was met with his icy glare.

I stomped toward the stairs, "You're so annoying."

I could almost hear him rolling his eyes.

.

December 27, 2011: 5:03 p.m.

I have never felt so fucking awkward in my entire life.

Going to the OBGYN with two men is one of the most awkward yet funniest experiences of my life.

Not only were Edward and Jacob nervous as hell, but so were all the people here standing around me. Some were smiling, some were frowning. It was so weird. They probably assumed I didn't know who the baby's daddy was. Which, you know, isn't too far-fetched. I did just find out myself. They kept staring and doing that pointing and whispering thing. It was so awkward.

"Why the fuck is everyone staring?" Jacob whispered, tugging at his suit collar. "And, why the fuck is it so hot in here?"

Edward rolled his eyes and plopped back down in the seat next to me. "Calm the fuck down, dude."

Jacob and I gave Edward a look.

"Sorry," He muttered. "This place just gives me the creeps."

"Me too," My hands had been shaking the whole time and my footing wouldn't stop tapping. I started tapping my fingernails on the hand rest to pass the time.

Edward reached his hand up and grabbed my hand and interlocked our fingers. At first I tensed but then he rubbed his thumb over mine in such a soothing manner that I realized I had calmed down exponentially. I looked over at him, but he wasn't looking back at me, for which I was grateful. I really didn't want to have to deal with any of our shit today and was just happy allowing him to calm me down.

The lady across from us smiled at me. I smiled awkwardly back and she leaned forward saying, "Are you a surrogate mother?"

That caught me off guard. "A what?"

"A surrogate mother? For these two men here?" She smiled all knowingly then and wiggled her eyebrows. "They're gay, yeah? They're too pretty not to be."

Jacob's eyes shoot up into his hair and Edward let out a loud guffaw.

Jacob stammered, "I am – we are – I am most definitely not – "

I smiled a huge grin and set the lady straight. "They're not gay."

She scrunched her eyebrows in confusion. The nerve of some people these days. "Really? Then are they your brothers?"

Like we looked anything alike?

Edward looked over at me quickly and smirked. "Yes. We're all related and having a very kinky incestuous relationship. She's with child because we wanted to make sure we kept it in the family. We're here 'cause we just want to know whose baby it is. It's kind of like this competition." He smiled a huge (sexy as fuck) grin at the lady across from us. "Can't let these family jewels go to waste, yeah?" And, then he jiggles one of my boobs.

Seriously! He did that. I was RIGHT THERE when it happened.

First, the lady's face dropped so quick I'm pretty sure she had a stroke. Secondly, I could almost feel the heat from Jacob's face radiating off of him from that last gesture. I tried so hard to hold in my laughter, but I couldn't. I laughed so hard I had to cover my face with my hands to keep my voice down. After a while, I heard Jacob begin to chuckle along side me. I laughed harder than I had in weeks. I needed a good laugh. And, because I hadn't laughed in such a long time tears sprung to my eyes. I turned to Edward, teary eyed and wide smile, and said,

"Thanks. I really needed that."

Edward nodded and then turned his attention to the front of the room. "I know you did."

"Isabella Swan," A woman who walked out and smiled at the room. All three of our heads whipped up to her and instantly my good mood shifted. I raised my hand and she nodded at me. We all stood up and followed her into room 3.

"Bella, if you could just lie back right here." The ultrasound technician showed me where to sit and I went to follow suit. She looked over and scrunched up her eyebrows. She looked over at Edward and Jacob and scrunched up her eyebrows. I point to each of them stating, "Edward. Jacob." She nodded skeptically and turned toward the cabinet. I could just feel how badly this was going to go in my veins.

Edward walked over to me and grabbed my arm in order to lift me up on the seat. "Here let me help you."

"Hey! I can do that. This is my job!" Jacob ripped Edward's arm off me and I almost toppled over.

"The fuck!" I murmured and in an effort to save myself, my elbow collided with something medal and tears sprung to my eyes. I rubbed my elbow, frowning.

Edward glared at him, shoving him. "Dude, I'm just helping her – "

"I can help her just fine without your help, dude." Jacob shoved back.

"OKAY!" I scream really loudly. "If it's alright with the both of you, I think I can get up on the damn seat thingy on my own, alright?"

They both continue glaring at each other as the technician looks back and forth between the both of them angrily. She looks back at me and says, "I'm sorry, but who are these people?"

I bite my lip, pretending I am any place but where I actually am, and hoping that she won't judge me for my answer. In an effort to sum up our situation in as little words as possible I stated, "Well, they're both my babies' daddies."

Her eyes get wide and her eyebrows shoot up into her hairline. "I'm sorry, what?"

Dear God. How did my life end up as a bad episode of Jerry Springer?

.

December 27, 2011: 5:14 p.m.

"Okay, so which baby daddy is _this_ one?" The frustrated technician pointed at Jacob who is standing so far away in the corner of the room that I forgot almost forgot he was here. I also really don't appreciate her attitude. It is not her position to judge.

"The one for the one that may or may not be in my belly."

She pointed over at Edward. "And _this_ one? Why is he here?"

"Because if he wasn't I probably would be out of this seat so fast you wouldn't be sure if I was actually ever here." I joked, trying to lighten up the tension in the room and also in my head.

The technician shook her head and went, "Whatever. I'm going to take your blood and run some tests. It won't take long."

I coughed out, "Sounds good." The nurse came in, got my arm ready, drew my blood, and left the room. She wasn't a very friendly person.

I could hear Jacob being jittery as fuck in the background, bugging the hell out of me.

I looked over at Jacob. "Jacob, sit down. You're driving me crazy. Everything's going to be fine."

His face looked stressed. His hands would not stop shaking.

"Jake, I promise you it's not that bad." I reached out my hand and held his gaze until he lightly placed his hand in mine. I held on tightly – as tightly as I could.

This was my life now. Edward being strong for me, me being strong for Jacob. It kind of made me sad to think that there was no one being strong for Edward. It was easy, with all that was going on, to forget how much we'd been through – how we lost our best friends, the most important people in our lives.

"God, I wish Alice was here." I muttered under my breath as my eyes began to slowly water. "She'd know what to do." I didn't think anyone had heard me, but suddenly, Edward was in front of me, grabbing my face and pushing my hair out of the front of my face.

With a firm grip on my face he demanded, "Don't." I let out a quick sob. "Don't start feeling sorry for yourself."

"I'm not,"

"You are." He let go of my face and barked out. "There are no "what if's" but I can tell you what is. This situation we're in right now _is_ happening. So, you're going to have to suck it up. This is your life now."

I set my jaw and nodded stiffly. I brushed my hair back with my fingers. "You're such an asshole sometimes."

He rolled his eyes. "Whatever, Bella."

The nurse walked back into the room with the results. Jacob's hand went dead in mine. It almost slipped out but I quickly tightened my grip before he could fully let go.

She smiled at me and stated, "You're pregnant."

I dropped Jacob's hand with a thump.

She continued, "We're going to need to do a an ultrasound in order to find out far along you are." Her eyes went from Edward to Jacob. "But, the first one is usually done vaginally."

Edward's face scrunched up. Jacob's face was still frozen. He hadn't moved an inch.

"Jake," I nudged his side. "What are you thinking?"

He visibly swallowed, "I'm th-thinking… I'm th-thinking… I'm…." He turned away from me, rubbed a hand through his hair roughly. He started breathing heavily. "Ummm,"

I began to worry. "Jacob," I said slowly. "Jacob, look at me." He didn't.

He continued pacing. I looked at Edward for help, he just shrugged at me. The nurse left the room, muttering something about giving us a minute.

"I can't – " He shook his head fiercely back and forth. "Bella, I can't."

I stared at him in silence. My heart having already felt every amount of pain that it possibly could cannot handle this. I dug my fingers as hard I could into the cushion underneath me, trying to find anyway that I could to release my feelings. I whispered out, "What are you trying to say, Jake?"

He shook his head and released his hair. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but this is too real."

"Too real?" I squeaked out. I was so scared that I was basically speechless. I was also about to break my fingers on this damn cushion. Edward must have seen because he forcefully peeled my fingers off the cushion and held my fingers still.

"I'm sorry, Bella." He shook his head. "You know I love you. You were my best friend. I just need – I just need –"

Edward cut in. "Jacob just needs time." He looked over at Jacob sternly and with a sure face. "Jacob's going to leave. Jacob's not going to make any decisions right now. He's going to go take some time to think." He nodded at him. "Right Jacob?"

Jacob's face hardened a bit. I'm pretty sure he would have agreed to anything to get out of the room. Jacob nodded a quick nod and basically flew out of the room.

As soon as the door slammed the entirety of the situation hit me like a slap in the face. What if Jacob doesn't ever come back? Jacob wouldn't be a deadbeat dad. Would he?

Edward turned to look at me and I avoided eye contact. I slowly hopped off the seat and fan my face.

"Where are you right now?"

"I'm… I'm…" I stuttered, placing a hand over my aching chest. "We need to go pick up Avery from my dad's house."

He grabbed my forearm. "Bella,"

"Don't." I demanded and then repeated (a little choked up, I might add), "Don't." I grabbed my purse and walked toward the door. "This is my life now, Edward. I'm just gonna have to suck it up, like you said now. Right?"

He looked over at me sadly, his piercing green eyes unbearable. I tore out of the room and slammed the door behind me.

Holy. Fuck.

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><p><strong>Reviewers get teasers. And virtual cookies. Of the chocolate chip variety. :) <strong>

**Laura :) **


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